REVIEW: 69 Thoughts on Flesh Produce’s New Album, Couch Slime IV

  1. I’m so hungry rn

  2. I could really go for a kale salad with some fried chicken on it, sprinkle some flax seeds on that shit mmmmmm

  3. I don’t know whether the IV in Couch Slime IV is meant to be the number 4 which would imply that there are three other Couch Slimes which would be intense or if it’s meant to be like intravenous like “inject this into your veins which I don’t think I would ever do willingly

  4. Because this record is sick

  5. What I mean by that is that it’s really really good, but it also feels physically sick

  6. Like sometimes when you listen to side B of Tago Mago and you think this is a good trip and then you listen to Side C and you’re like this is a baaaaad trip, like this is a good trip layered on top of a bad trip even though it sounds nothing absolutely like Tago Mago that was just the first record that came to mind for some reason sorry

  7. Or if I were the most annoying person in the world I would say that they sound like DeAtH gRiPs

  8. (although let’s face it sometimes Karl Fagerstrom’s drums are very Zach Hill js)

  9. OR it’s like if 100 gecs were cool

  10. 😬

  11. That’s not to say that 100 gecs aren’t cool

  12. But, you know, come on

  13. Basically it sounds like half of all the genres in one, like the music equivalent of a rainbow Fruit Roll-Up that you pulled off the bottom of your shoe

  14. I’m actually surprised they don’t have a bigger presence on Bandcamp because the breakcore devotees would eat this up

  15. Maybe one day

  16. Flesh Produce are a band from Seattle

  17. I discovered them right when they released Brute in April 2020 which was also right when the world sank another two feet into the shit

  18. And I really liked it and ever since then I have been waiting for them to make more while also keeping one lil eye on their side projects jic

  19. When I logged onto instagram.com and heard tail of a new record I DMed them immediately like um num num gimme gimme and they graciously said yes

  20. Which brings us to WASH Magazine presents

  21. 69 THOUGHTS ON FLESH PRODUCE’S NEW ALBUM, COUCH SLIME IV

  22. (which I have just now started to pronounce “Couch Slime Eye-Vee” in my head and whoops you cannot tell me otherwise)

  23. It starts with “Big Sus” which is a song you’ve already heard if you were PAYING ATTENTION

  24. You get a little grace period for the first 10 seconds where you’re standing out in the desert with your back to the LED stage and here comes the sunrise except (surprise) it’s a mushroom cloud

  25. And it doesn’t get any less intense, it actually gets more intense

  26. The energy starts at a 9 and the whole record doesn’t dip below an 8

  27. Myla Profitt is the distorted disembodied demon voice behind the cyclone and because that voice sounds like every gender at once you’ll more than likely hear your own in it

  28. I’m very glad that they made all of the lyrics available on Bandcamp because a lot of the time it’s hard to tell what she’s shouting which is kind of the point ig but it’s helpful for someone like me who writes about music for a “living”

  29. That being said I view lyrics on a “need-to-know” basis because the moment I know what they are the language part of my brain activates and it kind of kills the magic, is anybody else like that? Anyway

  30. Little discernable morsels arise from the din

  31. There are a lot of “it”s, nameless articles, implacable targets for rage and disgust

  32. Feels good to scream into the pillow on occasion

  33. When silhouettes emerge they’re the common culprits we all know and love

  34. —Fascists with government positions

  35. —Fake friends

  36. —Salivating erect men

  37. —Pigs snort snort snort

  38. —At rare points, the self, succumbing

  39. THE FOLLOWING ARE A FEW OF MY PERSONAL HIGHLIGHTS (everything else is also good)

  40. I love love love “Cross Eyed Dizzy” for its chockablock melody and mercurial drumbeat

  41. “Feet Meat” makes my head want to live in a wall

  42. “You Can’t Make Me Fuck” is relentless and it would have been nice to hear back when I was forcing myself to be okay with getting groped at gay bars

  43. One important thing you should know is that it was recorded during one of the worst periods in recent American memory

  44. And I don’t really want to remember it because even though I had a really good time with the guy I was living with just playing Nioh for weeks on end and getting coffee down the street and sleeping together, I also remember getting sucked into the spaces of what the big tech companies want our society to be and coming out the other end feeling like toothpaste squeezed out of a tube, feeling the plaque build up in my brain cords and on some days during the summer I used to take these long baths where I would be on Twitter until I turned into a ruddy prune shriveled down to a sick stomach and come to think of it that was the first time I started to get panic attacks

  45. We’re not together anymore fyi

  46. But what I’m saying is that Couch Slime IV sounds like what life really felt like during the pandemic

  47. Which is to say a bottled twister or accelerated movement reaching terminal velocity until the point where the movement becomes invisible and meanwhile you’re still stuck in your goddamn room

  48. It’s to Flesh Produce’s credit that they make information overwhelm sound so much more pleasant than it actually is

  49. My attention span is fucking shot so I appreciate the hyper-engagement

  50. Sounds come out of fucking nowhere

  51. Tempos change on a dime

  52. “Where am I/

  53. What’s my name”

  54. It all blurs together into ribbons of drunken color and skittering nicotine highs, aka The Apocalypse [remastered]

  55. I will say though

  56. That there is a song called “It Gets Better” that comes late in the runtime and is so blessed and straightforward that you could consider an oasis of sorts

  57. Although to my cynical mind it almost feels out of place because it’s so weirdly earnest, like I did find myself thinking this is not the nihilism I signed up for

  58. But I went to back to it and you know what? It works!

  59. You can’t clench your jaw all the time, you’ll never survive that way

  60. Besides, they go right back to the OOZ with a pair of “Scream Flips” that rock rock rock ooh yes

  61. CONCLUSION

  62. Couch Slime IV is fucking incredible gj y’all

  63. It kind of nails the ideal balance of challenging and accessible

  64. Anybody anywhere can appreciate the work that went into it, even the ones that don’t necessarily dig this stuff

  65. To me it’s characteristic of the slimy mass of hard-laced queer genreless punk music practiced by some of the most exciting bands in Seattle’s underground, & these the bands that have consistently delivered the most memorable live sets I’ve attended this year and yes that includes every mainstream artist and festival

  66. I have this fucked-up vision — do you remember the scene from Ghostbusters II where the river of pink slime oozing underneath the streets of New York suddenly bubbles up from the gutters and starts taking over the city?

  67. Just something to keep in mind


  68. I’m still hungry


Couch Slime IV is out on September 22. Catch Flesh Produce for their album release show at The Vera Project w/ Zookraught, Anthers, and Give Me The Money~

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